My Hajj experience

Asalamulaikum wa rehmatulahi wa barakatuhu

Alhamdulillah last year I was blessed with a chance to perform Hajj. I was asked by TheLearningMuslim.com to write a post about Hajj and share my personal experiences.

So here’s my story of Hajj and events leading up to it...   ☺

To begin with I would like to mention the importance of Hajj in Islam.

The importance of Hajj

As we all know Hajj is a very important pillar of Islam and every muslim is expected to fulfil this at least once in their life if they are fit and able to do so.  Pilgrimage to the house of Allah is a duty upon mankind. The importance of a muslim (believer) to perform Hajj is highlighted clearly in the Quran where Allah (swt) says, “Indeed the first house (of worship) established for mankind is Ka’aba in Makkah, full of blessings and guidance for the universe. Therein are clear signs (of Allah), with the platform of Ibraheem (to pray), and whoso enters it he is in peace. And the Hajj (pilgrimage) to this house is obligatory from Allah to the mankind who can afford an access to it. And if anybody disbelieves to do so Allah indeed is independent of all creatures of the universe” [Surah Al-Imraan 3:96-97]. 

People often take Hajj for granted and think that it should be performed when they’re old. There’s a negative perception amongst some of us that whilst we are young we can live however we want as when we are older we will go Hajj and get all our sins forgiven. May Allah (swt) protect us from such harmful thinking. My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, If your health and financial situations allow you to do so then Hajj should be performed whilst you are young. Why wait for old age to come or the ‘right time’ that we we all wait for before you make a move to complete this extraordinary pillar of Islam. Do we know for certain that we will live to reach old age? The answer is no. Therefore we cannot neglect this pillar which is in fact a calling from Allah to obey his command as highlighted clearly in several places in the Quran. We simply cannot look past it as we think we are still young and have plenty of time to do so later. In Surah Al-Imraan [3:185-186] Allah (swt) also promises us two things, “Every soul shall taste death” and that “you will be tested through your possessions and persons.”

You may be thinking that just because you want to go Hajj doesn’t mean it will happen until Allah (swt) calls for you. That is also correct. However, I do believe strongly that our intention/niyah should already be there. We should be absolutely mentally prepared to receive the calling from Allah for Hajj. Whether you are able to go this year or not, leave that to Allah (swt) and make your intentions now. Allah (swt) is the acceptor of intentions and he can call whom he wills at any time. We may feel that our financial situations do not look too great at the present moment and that Hajj may not seem feasible right now, but that’s just it. That’s our biggest problem! We forget that Allah is in control and he has power over everything. We forget that no matter how difficult of a situation we may be in right now, NOTHING is impossible for Allah to change. He simply has to say ‘BE’ and it is. So never despair about your situation and always make dua and have faith in Allah that he will make it happen.

My story leading up to Hajj

About 4 years ago I went through a difficult situation that resulted in me turning my attention to Islam and Alhamdulillah it made me want to learn and know about it properly. Since then I have been making dua for Allah (swt) to call me for Hajj. Sometimes I’d go through days where I would think that why is Allah (swt) going to want to call someone like me for Hajj as I haven’t exactly been the ideal muslim before turning to Islam fully. Despite thinking this, I remained persistent and did not give up making dua and begging Allah (swt) to call me. I actually wanted this more than anything in the world. Every year when I would hear my uncle is planning to go Hajj I’d get really happy and think I’m actually going to get a chance to go this year, however despite planning for it in the end the plan would get cancelled and therefore I could not go as he is the only mehram I could go with. 

This year was no different. When it reached mid year time I remember thinking it's not going to happen this year either is it, as everybody who is going has started booking and there's no sign that my uncle will go this year. I got very depressed at that point and started to think that it's never go happen is it. Allah (swt) is the most merciful and loving. I was proved wrong! My negative thinking was proved wrong! At the end of Ramadan i heard that my uncle is definitely planning to go Hajj this year. When i heard this I got very upset as I thought how unlucky am I? Finally, this year my uncle is going and I could have gone with him but I cannot as my masters’ project due date and an exam fell in September which also happened to be the period in which Hajj would be taking place. Plus i was thinking work is not going to allow me 3 weeks off at such a short notice. 

I remember feeling completely broken as I wanted to go so badly but felt that there were too many obstacles in my way that I would not be able to remove. I only had 1 and a half week of annual leave left at work and I needed a minimum of 3 weeks off for Hajj according to the package my uncle booked. To my surprise, Alhamdulillah the lady who booked my annual leave agreed to give it to me and no one else noticed this otherwise they could have said no. Of course I would have to make up all those hours later, but that was besides the point as Alhamdulilah my problem was solved and the leave was booked. Now, my second big obstacle the university issue. I was worried they would not allow me an extension to move my exam date for a trip but again Alhamdulillah to my surprise when I spoke to my course director everything just went so smoothly and he agreed to letting me have an extension. At that point i could have died with all the excitement that overtook me and i began uttering, ‘Please Allah (swt) don’t let me die before I have completed Hajj now. Please allow me to reach the Holy land.’ I thought nothing can stand in my way now and I’m finally going to actually go Hajj in a few weeks time. Little did I know about the test that was awaiting for me around the corner.

Everything was going perfectly. Me and my mum had got everything ready for our much awaited journey. Unfortunately, 10 days before we were due to leave for Hajj my mum fell and broke her ankle completely. I still remember that day when I got the call about mum. From being so high with excitement, in a matter of seconds it felt like I had been pushed to the ground and felt extremely low. Mum would require surgery and there was no way she could go now. How could I go without her when I had always planned to take her with me. I don’t think I have ever felt this low in my whole life as I did when i heard this particular news. I went into a state of complete denial.

During those 10 days I can’t begin to describe the emotions I went through. Despite wanting to go Hajj so badly, I knew I could not as I also did not want to leave my mum either. It was an absolutely traumatising time. All sorts of thoughts were going through my mind such as was Allah (swt) testing me to see what I would do or how I would react in such a situation? Did he want to test my sincerity as a daughter? Did he want to test my sincerity as his believer or how much i actually wanted to go Hajj? I was emotional and so confused with the battle that was going on in my mind. What was the ‘right’ decision? Some people/family were saying I should definitely go as everything is booked and you're all packed and that I should not ignore the calling of Hajj, whilst others were saying you should not leave your mums side at such a time and that she should come first. If I went Hajj then what if Allah would be upset with me for leaving my mum in such a situation? What if he was testing to see if I would give up what I wanted so badly for my parent? Mother, someone who Allah has raised so high in rank that he has placed Jannah under her feet for her children. But then on the other hand, what if Allah wanted to see how i would perform Hajj and answer his calling whilst such a tragic incident had unfolded in my life? None of this helped me make a decision. Despite what she was going through, my mum persisted throughout that she wants me to go Hajj and make dua for her also. I was still so indecisive until the very night before we were due to leave for Hajj. Even on the day we were due to leave for Hajj I remember asking mum over and over again that is she sure she wants me to go as she hadn’t even had her operation done then and could not move herself. I was thinking that if she says don’t go then that’s it I would not go. I made dua to Allah to guide me as I could not understand what I should do  and  that if he didn’t want me to leave mum then please do something and stop me from going to Hajj. To my surprise everything worked out, many people stepped forward at that point when they heard that I may not go due to mum’s situation. Both friends and family reassured me that they would be with my mum in my absence and that she would not be left alone. May Allah (swt) bless every single one of them for stepping forward and offering to help us at such a crucial time when they did not have to.

Despite every obstacle that came in the way, I finally got to go Hajj. All this goes to show that we can plan all we like but in the end only when Allah (swt) wills for something to happen will it actually happen. Never in my dreams did I think I would go for Hajj without my mum. It also goes to show that when Allah (swt) wills something for you, no matter what obstacles are standing in the way, nothing will be able to prevent you from reaching it. I learnt many valuable lessons from these events before the journey of Hajj had begun.

The plane was about to take off from Heathrow and I remember bursting into tears thinking I can’t believe Allah (swt) answered my dua and has sent a calling for me. I could not believe I was actually on my way to Hajj. I thanked Allah (swt) with all my heart and asked for his forgiveness for all the times when I lost hope and thought that my duas were not being answered.

The beginning of Hajj

At the meeqat boundary (before reaching Jeddah airport), everyone entered into the state of Ihram by uttering the niyah of Hajj Tamattu and then reciting the talbiyah: Labbayka Allāhumma Labbayk. Labbayk Lā Sharīka Laka Labbayk. Inna l-Ḥamda, Wa n-Niʻmata, Laka wal Mulk, Lā Sharīka Lak.

In Arabic: لَبَّيْكَ اللَّهُمَّ لَبَّيْكَ، لَبَّيْكَ لاَ شَرِيْكَ لَكَ لَبَّيْكَ، إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ وَالنِّعْمَةَ لَكَ وَالْمُلْكَ لاَشَرِيْكَ لَكَ

Translation: “Here I am (at Your service), O Allah! Here I am. No partner do you have. Here I am. Truly, the praise and the favour is Yours and the dominion; No partner do You have.”

We reached Jeddah airport. I had heard previously that there is a lot of rush to be expected as well as a long waiting period at the airport. I guess it’s fair to say that you cannot understand the magnitude of a situation until you actually experience it. There were people everywhere and there was no space to sit. We had to wait at the airport for nearly 6 hours before we actually got to check out. Once we collected our luggage we had to wait for nearly 2 hours until our transport was ready to take us to our hotels in Makkah. Your test begins from the very second you leave for Hajj. Brothers and sisters I cannot begin to explain how tired everyone was. It got to a point where we could barely hold ourselves together. Whilst at the airport, the toilets were completely packed with people, that there was hardly any space to stand. Everybody was so tired and frustrated due to the long waiting period that some people ran out of patience and started arguing with each other about who gets to go the toilet first. I have to admit that just that initial period of the Hajj journey was a very testing time in itself. Brothers and sisters, It is so easy to become angry and frustrated with people in such situations. I had to keep reminding myself that this is all a test and I must be ever so careful with every action I decide to take and with every word that comes out of my mouth as Allah is watching and I must not forget about the reason I was here. Anyways, slowly everybody prayed their salah in small groups, as there was no free space at all so we had to take turns.

I had planned that I was going to make the most of every minute of my Hajj journey and thought I would continue praying and doing dhikr at the airport but I was so tired and mentally exhausted from everything that had happened before the trip and at the airport that I could not.

Finally, we reached the hotel in Makkah. The hotel lobby was absolutely packed with people and there was luggage everywhere. Again hardly any space to stand. It took the hotel ages to check every one in. Next.... you guessed it right! The elevator wait! Every single person was completely shattered by that stage. Once again arguments broke out in the lobby about who was going to get in the lift first etc.We got to our rooms, rested a little while, freshened up and left straight for Umrah. Brothers and sisters I cannot explain in words the feeling and emotions that overtake you when you see the beautiful Kabba. 

Umrah was carried out by doing the following:

1. Tawaf was performed. This involved doing 7 circuits around the kabba in an anti-clockwise direction and touching the Istilam/Hajr-e-Aswad with the right hand after each circuit. Hajr-e-Aswad is the black stone (from Jannah) in the Kaba. During tawaf dhikr and supplications are made.

2. After this we read 2 rakat nafl at the station of Maqam-e-ibraheem. This is read in a way that in the first rakat we read Suratul-Kafirun after Suratul-Fatiha and in the second rakat we read Suratul-Ikhlas after Suratul-Fatiha.

3. Drink Zam Zam water.

4. Next, Saee was performed. This involves doing 7 laps in total from Safaa to Marwah. (E.g. Safaa to Marwah = 1 lap and the Marwah to Safaa = 2nd lap) The 7th lap always ends at Marwah. There are green fluorescent lights placed in between Safaa and Marwah. The men should run briskly between these lights. Women are advised not to do so. Once the 7 laps are done then Sa’ee is completed.

5. Lastly, both men and women have to cut pieces of their hair. After this, Umrah is now completed and the conditions of Ihram are lifted.

We had a few days to spare in between before Hajj was due to start. On the evening of Friday 9th September 2016 after the Isha prayer, we were transported from our hotels to the camps in Mina. Before we left my family and I prayed Isha in Masjid al-Haram and entered into the state of Ihram once again and did niyah for Hajj. (At that point Masjid al-Haram which is normally packed out was almost empty as most Hajee’s had already left for Mina).

On the way to Mina, everybody in the bus recited the talbiyah constantly. It was the most beautiful experience. At that moment something amazing happened. Every morning on my way to work I would listen to a favourite clip of mine on youtube and I would repeat it constantly. Little did I realise that what I was reciting was the talbiyah. So on the way to Mina when everyone was reciting it, I felt like I knew what was being recited but couldn’t understand how I knew the words we were reciting by heart. After thinking for ages I started reciting it like the clip I had been listening to for the past many months. At that moment when I finally realised this, a warm feeling overtook me and I felt so blessed and happy knowing that Allah is always with his servants who call out to him. Everything had been pre-planned by Allah (swt) all along and what happened was no coincident. 

When we reached our camps, men and women in our group were separated. We were all in the same camp but a curtain was drawn in the middle to divide the two. Rugs had been placed like carpet everywhere on the floor inside the camps to cover the sand. There were two rows full of thin mattress like foams side by side and everyone was told to sit on one and take their places. We were also provided with a pillow and blanket each. There were coolers with bottles of water outside each camp and toilets were dotted around in several places around the camps. We spent that night and the following day (Saturday) praying and resting in our camps. It is essential to complete 5 prayers in Mina (Zuhur to Fajr) when you arrive there at the start of Hajj. On Sunday 11th September, after the Fajr prayer we were transported to Arafat. There were mini camps placed all over the plain of Arafat. We spent the whole day in our camps praying and making dua. The Hajj Khutbah was performed later in the day. 

That particular day was so incredible. You cannot stop your tears from flowing when you realise that the very place you are standing in at the moment is the very place where every single person will be standing on the Day of Judgement. Dua’s were made throughout that day for all the muslim ummah. On that day I fell ill and could barely sit. As Maghrib approached I kept wishing that the day would start all over again. This is a very special and important day to make duas and ask Allah (swt) for his forgiveness and mercy for this life and the akhirah. I was upset that I fell ill and could not make the most of it like i had planned to. Allah (swt) knows best why everything happens. Whilst I was standing and making dua, I felt so weak and helpless. Tears flowed non-stop and the sight and atmosphere of Arafat was so overwhelming that I had to constantlyremind myself of the duas I wanted to make. After I had made duas for everyone, I was going to make dua for myself but I couldn’t. It felt like my words would not come out and my tears and heart did the talking with Allah (swt) instead. Knowing that Allah (swt) was so close to everyone on that day was just the most incredible feeling and really makes you ponder on how you have been living your life up until now. On the day of Arafat, Allah (swt) opens the doors of his mercy and forgiveness and releases many from the hell fire. Subhan’Allah. On this day only, the Zuhur and Asr prayers are combined together and the Maghrib and Isha prayers are combined together. Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “There is no day upon which Allah frees more of his servants from the Hellfire than the day of ‘Arafāt. He draws near and then he praises them to the angels, saying: What do these want?” [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1348]

After the Maghrib prayer, everybody started to leave for Muzdalifah. Our transport was delayed so we did not leave Arafat till close to midnight. As darkness overtook Arafat, I felt so much peace in my heart. I just wanted to remain sitting there in silent and did not wish for anyone to disturb me. As we left Arafat my heart began to feel heavy. I wanted to cry out loud and pour my heart out to Allah but I could not do so in front of everyone. The remembrance of the fact that Allah is all knowing and knows the state of every heart helped me move forward. Whilst leaving Arafat i just had one dua in my heart... ‘O Allah, please call me back here again. Please don’t let this be the first and last time.’

After midnight (Monday 12th September) we reached Muzdalifah. It was such a huge open ground filled up with people everywhere you look. Looking out from inside the bus, the best way that I can describe to you the number of people all around was like seeing grains of sand in the desert. It was very overwhelming at the start to see so many people. The sight was indescribable. We got off the coaches and were told to find a spot and rest there for the night. We spent that night on bare ground under the open sky. It was absolutely amazing seeing all the people sat so close to each other and the fact that every single person present was simply there to obey the command of Allah (swt). That was such a comforting and amazing feeling. We spent the night praying and collected pebbles which we would need when we’d go to stone the Shaytaan. After the Fajr prayer, we were taken back to our camps in Mina. Later on that day, we were taken to the Jamarah, for our first day of Stoning the ‘big’ shaytaan (also known as Jamarah). If you don’t know so already there are 3 Jamarah’s referred to as small, medium and big. (NOTE: It is important to clarify at this stage a common misconception amongst some people. The 3 Jamarah’s do not mean that there are 3 shaytan’s and neither is the shaytan locked inside as some people think. The 3 Jamarah’s simply signify the 3 spots where the shaytan tried to stop Ibraheem (AS) from obeying the command of Allah) 

On the first day of stoning you only stone the big Jamarah. We threw 7 pebbles at the big Jamarah and left straight for Masjid al-Haram to perform tawaf and sa’ee of Hajj. The tawaf and sa’ee are performed in the same way as mentioned above. From there we returned back to Mina. In the evening when we heard that our Qurbani’s (animal sacrifice) were completed, the condition of Ihram was lifted and we were no longer under any restrictions as when in the state of Ihram. Whilst walking on the way to Jamarah, it felt like I was on my way, just like prophet Ibrahim (AS), going to obey the command of Allah (swt). Again that was such an amazing and powerful feeling. When we left initially to go for Jamarah, the heat was so strong and as soon as I stepped outside I felt faint almost as if i was going to pass out. I got so worried that I may not be able to make too far. I made dua to Allah (swt) to help me and allow me to complete all the rites of Hajj myself. Alhamdulillah as we walked a little further all of a sudden I felt better and it felt like I was not ill, faint or weak at all. 

That night we had to make our own way back to Mina and got lost when we entered the camp site. The camp site in Mina is HUGE!!!! It almost feels like a ‘mini’ city. When standing on a bridge in the campsite, there are camps everywhere as far as the eye can see. We walked around in search of our camp for over four hours. Every time we would ask someone to guide us, they would all show different directions and we would end up in a different section each time. That night was the biggest test faced so far. Our feet swelled up to such as extent that I could not physically see my ankle or feel the top of my foot. Finally, we found our camps and rested. 

On Tuesday 13th September, we went for our second day of stoning. This time we stoned all 3 Jamarah’s. Seven pebbles were thrown at each one. There was so much rush on this day that we lost our group. So the same thing got repeated as the night before. This time it was even more difficult than the night before as we had not even fully recovered from the night before and now we had to walk around in the blazing hot sun in search of our camps. Finally we got back to our camps and spent the rest of the day there praying and doing dhikr. On Wednesday 14th September, we went to complete the final stoning of all three Jamarah’s and then left Mina. As we were all ill, my uncle decided that we would make our own way back to the hotel by taxi. (...By now we had learnt our ways round lol  :D ) Our belongings were brought back to the hotel by our group. 

All thanks to the almighty Allah (swt), Hajj was now completed. Knowing this was the best feeling ever!!! Alhamdulillah, all thanks to Allah (swt) for letting me experience such a beautiful journey and for letting me walk the footsteps of his beloved ones.

We stayed a further two days in Makkah and then performed our final farewell tawaf before leaving for Medina. We stayed 8 nights in Medina and then returned back to the UK.

My advice to you

I personally felt that Hajj went really well and so much better than I had expected. Brothers and sisters you may have heard people tell you that make sure you don’t forget to take a lot of patience with you when you go to Hajj. My teachers and family said the same to me but I never understood what that meant until I actually went to Hajj. The hardest test of all is having to encounter and deal with different people, all with different manners, behaviours and ways of thinking. The queues for making wudhu used to be very long during the Hajj period. No matter what time of the day you came...there was no such thing as getting there early to avoid the rush. Imagine standing in the blazing heat for ages and seeing people come and push in front of the queue. Or imagine doing tawaf packed with people and then having to encounter individuals who literally push you out of the way to get in front of you when clearly there is no way for them to go ahead. Imagine trying to focus on Allah with all your heart and mind whilst performing tawaf and then coming across people making video calls whilst making tawaf like it’s no big deal. Imagine people arguing with each other over a spot to sit and not caring about the fact that they are standing in the house of Allah.  Or imagine yourself standing in the blazing heat for hours feeling ill, hungry and thirsty... how are you going to react? Are you going to remember Allah and thank him in such a situation or are you going to lose your sabr (patience) and become frustrated? Hajj presents you with many such situations in which even the most patient of people end up losing their cool. At that particular time we tend to forget that this is all part of the test and Allah is watching to see who will remain calm and focused on Allah despite everything that is going on around you.

What got me through Hajj is dua to Allah and persistent focus on the reason why I was there in the first place, the significance of Hajj and most of all that Allah is watching what I do and how I react. Hajj also forces you to think about how you have lived your life in the past and reinforces the desire to change for the better for none but Allah. It really makes you want to renew your intentions and makes you want to direct your future onto the path the leads to Allah. That’s how it made me feel.

Hajj is the most amazing journey you will ever experience in your lifetime – ARE YOU READY??

This was my story and experience of Hajj. Brothers and sisters I urge you all to go and perform Hajj if you are able to do so. Make your intentions now and then keep making dua. It is best to do Hajj when you are young as it becomes more difficult as you get older. I pray to the almighty Allah (swt) to call everyone who desires to go for Hajj. May Allah (swt) keep us all on his right path and let us die as his righteous servants. Ameen. 

I hope that this post helped to give you an insight into the journey of Hajj. Finally, I ask Allah (swt) to forgive me for any errors that may have been made whilst writing this post and for not being able to do justice whilst writing about such a magnificent pillar of Islam.

Post by Eiram Khalid